Can't Put My Finger On It

Trying to not let my doubts overwhelm me. But I know what people are capable of...
Trying not to seem jealous or insecure, but I know what ppl can do when you give them power
Don't want to come off naive, don't want to let my emotions get the best of me..
And I would NEVER go through all that he has, just for the thrill out it. But I'm not him...
I'm scared to float, cuz i'm scared to fall and I'm terrified to just believe because I can't
I can't just go head first, all in. As much as I want to, as much as I miss the feeling, as much as I say I'm going to..... I can't
My vivid imagination isn't the only thing getting the best of me.
I mean, I've been the user and the taker before. None of those my proudest moments
But that was then and this is now and I don't want wanna be the victim nor the abuser
I want to be me. Simple, sarcastic, loving, passionate, generous, beautiful ME.

I can't b this lucky, can I??
Or maybe it isn't luck it's just my turn, finally??
But him?? I've known him for like forever, kinda.
Timing is everything though
But it seems too ideal, is there such a thing??
I mean from the stature, to smarts, to ambitions, and even appetite he fits. He doesn't snore, he's not a stranger but yet he is. And I adore it all. And sleep peacefully
With one eye open...