Eggshells

Trying to get someone to understand that even though you live in the same place the worlds that you come from our different, is the hardest thing I've ever had to. I've never felt so stupid for my efforts and it hurts. It hurts to know that I genuinely care entirely too much about someone that's not mine. Someone that doesn't deserve me. Someone that could care less. I cry and they don't know. I hurt and they're not there to provide comfort. I can't find the words to make them give a damn, bcuz I do believe I they understand. But that lack of verbal/stated commitment is a free pass to do any and everything, including not give a fuck. I don't know what else to say and I never thought in my life that I would feel this way again. I know if I tell him I'm gone, he will just say bye. No fight, no why, no let's make this work, no Imma try and do better. Never even an "I'm sorry." I try so hard to just focus on the day to day, but I refuse to be a part of someone's motions, I'm not a hobby. Don't deal with me just because and don't care sometimes. I'm walking on eggshells. I've forgiven him for so much....