So it's taken a long time but I have finally gotten myself to a place where the thought of losing you doesn't create a stabbing sensation in my chest. Where the day after I tell you I'm leaving, I'm not calling you to take me back. I thought I could wait til the end of the year, but why should I?? I'm unhappy now. I fell in love with the person that I thought you would become, not the person that you currently are. And that's my fault. Hoping that my selflessness and generosity would be enough to tighten your ship....I guess not. So now that I'm sailing, the waves are so calm and the fresh air feels so nice. And the timing feels right, so I'm going for it. I possess the gall to throw it all away, and I'm not even hoping that it'll return. Hope is what got me here. I mean it'd be nice if it did, I guess, but if it doesn't...well then it just doesn't.
I cannot act like I wouldn't be hurt, or I wouldn't shed tears that are ultimately undeserving. But I AM gonna move on, get gone and be strong. LEARN from my mistakes bcuz this constant disappointment I can't take. But this blind cruising for days, turned weeks, turned months, has me numb, feeling kinda dumb. I can't love you like this and you don't love me right. I talk to you from my heart and you cover your eyes. Baricade your soul. The same one that you said I set on fire...
Monday, June 14, 2010
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Aww damn...yeah...it's The End. Thanks for playing...we have some lovely parting gifts for you...
ReplyDeleteYou know, you can't blame yourself for loving fully...You're an incurable romantic, a dreamer and an optimist. You always see and fall in love with our potential... The heartbreak comes when we fail to see ourselves through your eyes...appreciate your vision, grow and become more than we even sought for ourselves.
It's a tough line to walk for the insecure and the unwilling.
Move on...step ya game up...keep ya aim up